Vegetarian Pros and Cons

A quick breakdown of what you really need to know.

Pros:

Contribute to solving:

-World hunger (it takes more energy to raise and produce animal meat than the meat itself provides)
-Deforestation (forests and rain forests are being cut down to provide grazing land for animals)
-Soil erosion (grazing animals that eat the grass strip the land and make it vulnerable to wind and soil erosion, thereby destroying prime agricultural land)
-Disease (vegetarian diets reduce the risk of heart disease, atherosclerosis, diabetes, obesity, cancer...)

-It's cheaper (dairy and meat products are expensive.)
-Vegetarians will not contract mad cow disease!
-It's cool; (Albert Einstein was vegetarian, Paul McCartney of The Beatles is.)

Cons:

-Meat tastes great and is filling.
-There may be some resistance and criticism from non-vegetarian family members.
-The Canadian Food Guide does not provide guidelines for vegetarians. Research must be done and attention paid to nutrition to avoid zinc and iron deficiencies, illness, anemia.
-It takes a lot of effort and creativity to avoid the boredom of salads.
-People get anxious and uptight when a vegetarian is invited for dinner.

50 signs u may be a bandnerd!

1. You hear music on the radio and you start marking time.
2. You're walking behind someone and you're in step with them.
3. You try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
4. All your friends are in band.
5. You don't mind changing clothes on the bus (see below).
6. You know how to change on the bus without revealing anything.
7. People ask you about your social life and you say "Oh you mean my flute?"
8. You've had a "trombone-ectomy" (shudder).
9. You practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
10. Being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
11. "Armed guard" means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.
12. You remember sharps and flats more easily than you remember the name of the president.
13. You've named your instrument.
14. You see your section more than you see your family.
15. Everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.
16. You have dreams about selling band candy.
17. You accidentally call your band director "Dad".
18. Reeds taste good.
19. You subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
20. You roll step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your food.
21. You're alone and you suffocate because no one's telling you to breathe.
22. The band room is your second home. It is your home if you've got it bad.
23. You think a national monument should be built honoring John Philip Sousa. Hell, they should just chip off one of those president heads and put it there.
24. You've actually been to band camp and consider it the highlight of your summer.
25. You recite the alphabet A through G then start back at A again.
26. Someone could empty their spit valve on your shoe and you wouldn't care.
27. Spit rags/swabbers don't gross you out (see above).
28. You carry reed cases in your pockets
29. You know what a shako is and insist on calling them that, threatening to kick anyone who dares to call them 'hats'.
30. 9/2 time scares the b'jeezus out of you, while dying a slow painful death in a pit of snakes doesn't.
31. Your philosophy is: "If you don't have your mouthpiece then what the heck is that noise coming out of your mouth?"
32. You and your pals have memorized the entire repertoire for the year and can play your respective parts together...on kazoos.
33. You hear a song on the radio and think: "Hey, this'd make a good pep band song."
34. You don't describe people by going "She's got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall..", but go "She's an alto sax."
35. Your conductor is your hero.
36. You have a designated section in your closet dubbed "for concert attire".
37. You have a harness/neck strap/sock tan line.
38. Pep band is the highlight of your week.
39. You go around humming the last song you practiced, even if it's Bb major scale.
40. A random person could punch you in the face and you wouldn't respond, but you'll fight to the death over who in your section gets to play the solo.
41. Someone yells out "Hey Tuba boy!" and you respond.
42. Your biggest crush was/is your drum major.
43. You go to parades that you are not in and make sure lines are straight, horn angles are parallel, and everyone is in step.
44. You listen to the classical station and can name off songs that you remember playing in band.
45. You always start off on the left foot.
46. You find it complicated to get in step with your reflection.
47. You've seen "Mr. Holland's Opus" 26 times.
48. Everybody in band fights like they're family.
49. When walking down the hall you are in step with your friends. If someone is not, they fall behind or do a little foot shuffle to get in step.
50. You have dents in your furniture from hitting it with drumsticks or spit stains from emptying your valve.

Top 34 ways to anger your band directors!

1. Make music sound like evil clowns killing people (actual comment from my director after we sight read a piece called "Tall Cedars")
2. Sharps schmarps, play b flats and ignore all sharps, both accidental and in the key signature.
3. Flats schmats, play b natural and ignore all flats, both accidental and in the key signature.
4. Make sure every stand you walks by falls
5. Whenever you raise the stand height, make sure that it comes off all together, spilling all music in the process.
6. Listen carefully to his directions to fix a section of the music. Do the exact opposite. Insist that's what he said in the first place.
7. Get a brass player to empty his spit valve on the podium. Often.
8. Drop instrument parts during rehearsals (mouthpieces, bells, slides, cymbols, etc). If you're really daring, do it during a concert.
9. Wait until well into a rehearsal before telling him you don't have your music
10. Invent your own tempo.
11. Play everything up an octave.
12. Crinkle up the originals of the music.
13. Write the music in a different time signature. Cut out some notes/add some notes to make it work.
14. Make 1 tiny mistake, then cry.
15. Ask if he's ever conducted the piece before.
16. Ask if he's ever heard so-and-so's version. Imply that he could learn something.
17. Talk. Nonstop.
18. Warm your instrument (blow warm air through it) constantly. Best if some notes occasionally come out from too much air
19. Ask why we have to play scales.
20. Ask why we never play arpeggios.
21. Always ask which divisi part you should play. Even if it's the same answer all the time.
22. Never be satisfied with the tuning note.
23. Look the other way before cues.
24. Complain about the lighting and temperature of the band room.
25. Never have the proper mute, a spare set of strings, or extra reeds. Percussion players must never have all their equipment.
26. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal favor.
27. Loudly blow water from the keys during pauses (Horn, oboe and clarinet players are trained to do this from birth).
28. Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not playing at the time. (If s/he catches you, pretend to be correcting a note in your part.)
29. At dramatic moments in the music (while the conductor is emoting) be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing.
30. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.
31. Tell the conductor, "I can't find the beat." Conductors are always sensitive about their "stick technique", so challenge it frequently.
32. If your articulation differs from that of others playing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage just before the concert.
33. Find an excuse to leave rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to pack up and fidget.
34. During applause, smile weakly or show no expression at all. Better yet, nonchalantly put away your instrument. Make the conductor feel s/he is keeping you from doing something really important.

~The End!

Once upon a time there was a lonely girl named Nancy. Nancy's boyfriend, Orange, broke up with her. Kelly felt sorry for Nancy. Kelly decided to take Nancy to the movies and see Pirates 3. Nancy hated it. Nancy hated life. Nancy decided to quit. Nancy went to the nearest puddle and drowned herself. Then Kelly was sad. But then Kelly saw a nice picture of Gerard and was happy. Then Kelly died.

~The End~

 Once upon a time there was a suicidal girl named Nancy. Nancy decided to go to the ocean with her friend Kelly. Nancy and Kelly walked the one hour drive to Galveston. Nancy and Kelly walked to the middle of the ocean and swam in the deepest part. Then Kelly saw a shark. The shark looked at Kelly. Then Nancy died. Then Kelly died.

~The End~

Once upon a time there was a girl named Nancy. Nancy was bored so she and her friend Kelly went to Alaska. When they got there they saw pretty polar bears. The Alaska Ranger gave Nancy and Kelly some food to feed the polar bears. Then the polar bear ate Nancy's hand and Kelly died. Then Nancy died.

~The End~

Once upon a time there was a girl named Nancy. Nancy and her friend Kelly saw a rainbow. Nancy remembered the Lucky Charms commercial and wanted to find Lucky. Nancy and Kelly followed the rainbow. When they got to the end they didn't find Lucky or a pot of gold. Nancy decided to look around. Then it rained and the rainbow ran away. Nancy got struck by a bolt of thunder. Kelly died. Nancy died.

~The End~

Once upon a time there was a girl named Nancy. Nancy wanted to be a pirate, so she went to her friend, Kelly's house. Kelly and Nancy went to Wal-Mart and bought pirate costumes. They went to school dressed up as pirates with their swords and everybody laughed at them. Nancy cried. Kelly stabbed a guy with her sword. Then Nancy died. Kelly died.

~The End~

Note: Nancy is one of my best friends and i just write these stories out of pure boredom cuz we have nothing to do in our Spanish class!

The following show contains stunts either done by professionals, or under the supervision of profesionals. Accordingly, MTV and its producers insist that no one attempt to re-create or re-inact any stunt or activity preformed on this show.

              Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass

              Once apon a time there lived a girl named Nancy. Nancy was thirsty so her and her friend Kelly went to town. Nancy and Kelly went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Nancy fell down and broke her crown and Kelly came tumbeling after. Then they died

                                                         ~The End~

              Once apon a time there lived a girl named Nancy. It was Christmas in Nancy's house so everyone was exchanging presents. Nancy's friend, Kelly, was over too because Kelly has no life.  Nancy gave Kelly a blender because Nancy hated Kelly and wanted her to stick her face in it and die. Kelly was so happy! Kelly gave Nancy a French flag. Nancy hates France. When Nancy was with Kelly she forced Kelly's head into the blender and turned it on and laughed at the site of Kelly's flesh being ripped off. When Kelly was dead Nancy waved the French flag her dead friend had given her in a wave of joy. Then she poked her eye and died.

                                                             ~The End~

              Once apon a time there lived a poor, dying, girl named Nancy. Nancy's doctors told her that she had a deadly disease called Hymptfrostyaxlrosetomorrowqrsvinpkrt. Unfourtnatly, Nancy got this deadly disease from the chair she sits on in the dining room. Her mother ordered the chair to be disintagrated. So the chair died. Nancy now had 2 weeks to live. Since this was the 21st centuray, there was no such thing as "medicine". Nancy know had 1 day to live. She said her good byes to her family and her only friend, Kelly. Kelly was sad. Nancy was sad. Then Nancy died.

                                                               ~The End~